Initial Thoughts: Mother Earth Having Hot Flashes

(Editor's note: Back when Tom Pfeifer was required to read five-plus newspapers a day for his day job, for amusement he compiled news reports from which he could thread a theme and emailed his Initial Thoughts to family and friends. While he works on other projects, he is regurgitating some of them here. We hope you enjoy.)


Initial Thoughts
© 2007 Tom Pfeifer
Current as of Feb. 10, 2007
 

When evangelist Michael Marcavage blamed Katrina’s New Orleans devastation on America’s embrace of homosexuals, I thought: Wouldn’t San Francisco be a better target?

There is, however, no doubt about God’s

aim with global warming. It’s God’s way

of bringing balance back to male-female

roles. God is on the verge of slinging us

back to the Stone Age kicking and

screaming so men will be men and

women women again.

For decades, America has led the world

in women’s rights. But try as we might,

it’s still a man’s world, baby, as high-

flying women found out this week.

As Marcavage might say, that’s God’s

plan, if not the natural balance of things.

Nancy Pelosi is our nation’s first-ever

female Speaker of the House. She’s a grandmother and founder of the so-called Mommy Party. When she took to the podium to be sworn in as speaker a month ago, she surrounded herself with children and was bedecked in pearls.

All was good and celebratory. Until this week. This week she whined because she wasn’t being treated as a man. The male-dominated military wouldn’t give her a government plane that would take her to her homosexual-haven home of San Francisco without having to stop to freshen up. They had given one to her predecessor. But he was a man. A burly man. A man’s man. A former high school wrestling coach. Denny Hastert never wore pearls. Or lived in San Francisco.

“As a woman speaker of the House, I don’t want any less opportunity than male speakers have had,” Pelosi told the media.

Pelosi’s elevation to speaker is either a milestone in evolution or an insignificant mutation. You decide: Of the top 11 Democratic males on the November congressional ballot, nine won election. But only one of the top 11 Democratic women won election. In our collective subconscious, we still want men to be the dominant partner.

And contrary to feminist expectations that the male chromosome will disappear in 10 million years, the Y chromosome is alive and well, scientists report. True, the maleness of the chromosome world is naturally “worn down and misshapen as a stubbed-out cheroot.” But it’s been that way for 6 million years. We don’t care.

Consider another barrier-breaker in this week’s news. U.S. Navy Captain and astronaut Lisa Nowak donned a diaper and a wig and drove cross-country to attack her fantasy lover’s girlfriend. It’s hard to imagine the same headlines if Nowak had been a man, girly headlines like “For Astronauts and Their Families, Lives With Built-In Stress” and “Astronaut suffered ‘mental anguish.’”

“It’s definitely a challenge to do the flying and take care of even one child and do all the other things you have to do,” Nowak told the Ladies Home Journal when she was still a role model. “But I learned that you can do it.”


Um, apparently not.

It’s the first time an astronaut has been charged with a felony, the media reported. Not the first time an astronaut committed a felony, perhaps, but the first time an astronaut was charged. There are a couple of reasons for this. The Right Stuff generation didn’t allow girls on their spacecraft. Oh, there may have been some girly men, but like men’s professional sports teams, there’s an unwritten and unspoken don’t ask, don’t tell rule in effect. And, because boys will be boys, what’s a little felony here and there that can’t be overlooked?

At least, perhaps, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And, because we’re violating God’s and nature’s laws, God and nature are taking retribution. Mother Earth is so angry she’s hot. The end is near, politicians and reverends tell us.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I have to practice making fire by rubbing sticks together. And pounding on my chest.

Owww. That hurts.

Sources

Brown, David. Washington Post Staff Writer. “Study Suggests ‘Y’ the Male Chromosome Will Endure.” Washington Post. 5 September 2005. Page A13.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/04/AR2005090400867.html

Cooperman, Alan. Washington Post Staff Writer. “Where Most See a Weather System, Some See Divine Retribution.” Washington Post. 4 September 2005. Page A27.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/03/AR2005090301408.html

Fiore, Faye and Barnes, Julian E. Times Staff Writers. Times staff writer Richard Simon contributed. “Air travel flap circles over Pelosi.” Los Angeles Times. 8 February 2007.
http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/front/la-na-pelosi8feb08,1,3096611.story?coll=la-headlines-frontpage

Hulse, Carl. “Speaker’s Plane Becomes a Point of Criticism.” New York Times. 9 February 2007.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/09/us/politics/09pelosi.html

Lizza, Ryan. New Republic Senior Editor and CQ Correspondent. “The Invasion of the Alpha Male Democrat.” New York Times. 7 January 2007. h
ttp://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/07/weekinreview/07lizza.html

Madkour, Rasha and Crary, David. Associated Press Writers. Associated Press writer Joe Stinebaker contributed. “Astronaut suffered 'mental anguish.’” Houston Chronicle. 8 February 2007.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/4536409.html

Schwartz, John. Warren E. Leary contributed. “For Astronauts and Their Families, Lives With Built-In Stress.” New York Times. 9 February 2007.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/09/us/09astronaut.html

Whoriskey, Peter and de Vise, Daniel. Washington Post Staff Writers. Staff writers Chris Jenkins, Marc Kaufman, Moira E. McLaughlin, Katherine Shaver and Steve Vogel and staff researcher Eddy Palanzo contributed. “With Discipline Honed by Training, Police Say, Astronaut Set Out to Kill.” Washington Post. 7 February 2007. Page A01.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/06/AR2007020600106.html



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(Editor's note: No one should go hungry during these trying times. If you have the means, please donate to your local food bank. Even a dollar goes a long way. Simply search "food banks near me" to find one. If you're in need, please contact them for help.)

 

Tom Pfeifer is president and CEO of Consistent Voice Communications and author of Write It, Speak It: Writing a Speech They’ll APPLAUD! Reach him at Tom@YourConsistentVoice.com.

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